I was thinking about getting into rollerblading...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfKTDMEoC88

I forgot this: Alexandra was a huge fan of blading, so much so that her friends took it upon themselves to put this on her car (and yes, she did hate it)

Forum Posters

The other day I googled conductor's stick to figure out the proper name for such a tool.  I was trying to use it in a creative writing piece I was working on but that is beyond the scope and purpose of this post.  The google results took me to answers.yahoo.com where I found someone else had the exact same question and made a forum so people could post their answers.  Her results that included "ur mom," "the magical music stick," and ultimately the correct answer, "baton," really got me thinking about forums.  

Forums are really handy places to find answers, although sometimes unreliable, to pretty much any question you could have.  I found a lot of helpful forums on dpreview.com since I've been searching for a new camera.  These forum posters seem to be a hybrid of expert advice and novice product reviews.  However, the dpreview forums and other niche forums like apple support are full of great advice because there are bona fide experts replying to user threads.  However, others, like the forum I found at yahoo about batons are curious to me.  How does one go about answering a random forum question on a non-niche sight like yahoo?  It seems some people just have that unquenchable desire to answer questions.  Others seemingly like to make up answers out of poor attempt at humor.  This brings me to my next oddity: when the answer has obviously been posted on the thread already, why are there an additional 10 to 15 responses that have the same exact answer?  I generally go to forums to get a quick answer.  But it is apparent that some people waste a lot of time replying and browsing forums.  They are odd things, but I can't hate on the few weird people who make weird posts when you can pretty much find answers to every question you can imagine.  You just have to sift through the knowledgeable and unknowledgeable people to find what you're looking for.

Another thing, don't let this here post deter you from replying to my posts... of course I am referring to anonymous replies and not the replies of friend-to-friend blog perusing.  Don't be shy... Mike... Krista (its so easy to micromanage your blog when you only have two people replying to it... hahaha) 

p.s. I'm sure you looked great in puka shells.

"Hey dude, you left the sticker on..."

Brad's fashion don'ts:

Let's be honest, I don't consider myself in to fashion but I'll admit there are a few things that I try hard to avoid.... very hard.

sleeveless shirts - either wear a t-shirt or a tank top, there shouldn't be an in between

hats with the size sticker left on the bill - why?

ankle socks - I'm more of a crew or low cut kinda guy, not really sure why.

Oakley sunglasses - okay, unless you're Jeremy Warner they're just too extreme. 

shoes with plaid on them.

puka shell accessories - was this ever cool?  Ask Kenny Chesney...

thin chin strap facial hair

I guess you get the picture. 

Hey guys, big gulps uh?.... Welp! See ya later.

Thoughts On...

dancing with the lights on....

I love the "light on effect" at dances where young people are gathered.  When the lights are off at a club or a dance hall or whatever you want to call it, you can see vague flashing strobe lit figures bumpin and grindin on the dance floor having a grand ol' time.  Its pretty out of control I think.  When did dancing turn in to imitation copulation on a hardwood floor with fancy shoes?  Some of the older generation might ask, when will this stop?  How far can it go?  Well, having had the privilege of attending such feverish events, I can say it will all stop with the flick of a switch.  There is nothing more entertaining than watching the faces of two fine young people stare each other in the face with complete shame as they realize they weren't really dancing... or were they.  In the dark, its called "dancing" but when the lights go on unexpectedly, it seems to be something else that nobody wants to be a part of.  Hmmm... interesting. 

Cars with push ignitions....

I could see a use for these cars if you didn't have to have a key to get in to the car.  However, from my experience, which I admit is limited to a small stint in a Prius, there really isn't any point.  You have to put a square stick into a little slot in the car and then push the ignition button to start the car.  What's the point of the push ignition if you have to carry around a "key" with you anyway, which is actually larger than a normal car key...

I realize these past points make me sound a little geriatric and detached from my fellow generation.  This could be true... my body seems to think so seeing that I am currently nursing my billionth ankle sprain of my life.  I used to think I would sometimes fit in better in another generation... maybe the 30's or 50's, I don't know, there are pros and cons to each generation but I feel like I sympathize with an ideal or style or music of a generation long gone.  If you could live through your twenties in another decade, which would you choose...

Sailing

Captain's Log

April 26, 2009

Today Krista and I became light wind (up to 15 knots) dinghy certified sailors.  The course lasted 8 hours today and yesterday, so it was pretty time consuming, but it was really a lot of fun.  I used to hate sailing; my dad used strap my brother and I into life preservers and would drag us on to his old boat for hours of boredom.  I wish we would have been able to appreciate that boat before he sold it, not after.  Nonetheless, I have developed quite a liking for the open sea.  

We sailed Capri 14's, a two person "recreation" boat, although "recreation simply means that there is slightly more space in the boat than a quicker racing grade boat of the same size.  There really wouldn't be too much room for more than two, but its doable in theory.  I proud to say that we did not capsize either days, on purpose anyway, (day one we had to in order to learn how to flip the boat back up) despite moderately high winds, at least for beginners anyway.  When our instructor wasn't making fun of the foreign people in the class, he was telling us how our entire relationship's future could be dictated by how well we sail together.  Well, thanks John, I think we did just fine.  Sailing does really require a lot of communication and team work in all honesty though, but Krista and I managed to keep the boat right side up the whole weekend, though I admit we did come close once.  I when I say close, I mean the leeward (that is side of the boat opposite the wind) side of the boat was completely submerged for a good 2 seconds at one point.  We had to jump to the high side of the boat in order to keep it down.  It was quite the adventure!  I really like the sailing (not just boating) part of our water adventure.  Maneuvering a craft by just the wind can be quite challenging, but way more exciting and rewarding when you get it, especially when you get a good close haul point of sail and you have your main sheet pulled nice and tight so that you start to keel, requiring you to lean out the windward side to flatten out the boat, and then you whip around a quick tack sending the boom flying over your head....  Sorry, I got carried away.  If you get a chance, go sailing!  

I'm available as crew or skipper upon request :-)

When I was your age... VH1 aired music videos

My room mates were watching VH1 today, the show was 40 Dumbest Celebrity Quotes which included the Governator himself saying "I think gay marriage should be between a man and woman" at number 1.  

Some of the quotes were slightly entertaining but it mostly got me thinking about the recent content of VH1, that is, Video Hits One, something I admit I had to look up.  VH1, who used to boast the slogan "music first" seems to have jumped off the music bus somewhere along the way to reality land.  At one point, they must have decided that music videos were boring.  Solution: Pop up video.  When pop up video became obsolete it seems that reality tv was the next logical step...somehow.  Now, one can only enjoy a show that has to do with watching a former celebrity's dramatic downfall and and dating pitfalls, or making a fame thirsty idiot into a celebrity (shows like "I love money" come to mind).  It is quite the balance they have working over there at VH1 headquarters.  With the scales going either one way or another, music videos have been stuck in the middle.  I don't watch too much television but out of the top of my head I can think of two shows they have that are still dedicated to music.  One are the between show blurbs about artists on the rise called "You oughta know" and a music video program called "Nocturnal State" aka early morning programming filler.  

I don't really go out of my way to watch music videos but I do enjoy them when they are on.  Music + a director's visual interpretation of that music always interested me.  Its fun seeing how the meaning of a song sometimes can change a little when you watch the music video.  Or, even if it doesn't change, many music videos are just flat out cool to watch.  For instance, I'm not a huge fan of the white stripes or Okay Go but the video to "Fell In Love With a Girl" and "Here It Goes Again" are freaking sweet. They are so original and visually stimulating.  

I know music videos aren't extinct, but they are just heavily niched in the internet now, which pretty much means you have to go look for them.  You can't just stumble across them while channeling surfing anymore.  Instead, you get half naked girls with retarded nicknames vouching for celeb studs like Flava Flave.  I'd rather get a music video, thank you.  I suppose I'm going to have to start poking around the web to see what's going on with my favorite artists in the visual world.  Two common (but not all) approaches I've seen are the animated, like M. Ward's Chinese Translation.  Or the artist featured choreography type of video like in Greg Laswell's How the Day Sounds (note the apperance of Elijah Wood...huh?).  Another common video is obviously the live taping of a show with omniscient views of backstage activities and such like in Kings of Leon Use Somebody.  Why do I have to stay up till 3 in the morning in order to watch these, or go bounty hunter on them on the internet?  Lets get back to the game plan VH1 (and MTV....)

Current Events

Arbitrary things I've been thinking about today that I...

want... Canon EOS XS SLR camera

like... the music and lyrics to Ray LaMontagne's "Empty"

dislike... automatic flushing toilets that decide you're ready to go wash your hands

am planning on attending... Outside Lands Music Festival

want to try... Monte Cristo Sandwich

want to read... Why We Hate Us by Dick Meyer

short list... more to come....

Blow Out: Everything On Sale!

The morning of Saturday April 18th has become an important marker in the evolution of my manhood.  I changed my first tire at 22 years old.  You may be wondering if I'm serious about the importance of this event, and rather than now telling you whether or not I'm exaggerating, I'll just let you keep wondering.  

I must admit, I did have an inflated sense of pride in my existence as a male.  I feel like changing a tire is a lost art of sorts in the chapter of men.  This day and age, who needs to know how to change a tire when you can call AAA and have some other guy do the job?  Or you could avoid the complicated phone altogether and press the magical "Onstar" button that sends a grease covered hero to your side.  

I feel like the age of practical knowledge is lost.  I don't know when or how it went away, but there is a noted helplessness in today's society that forces us to use a micro-economic bailout.  We don't have to do anything ourselves anymore, a service can be provided for everything.  Obviously, there are necessary services that one needs (the common person can't replace their own car engine or fly their own plane) but I'm not talking about needs, I'm talking about services that we don't need but are willing to pay for.  I know a woman who has a service taking care of peoples DMV errands (which means she is essentially getting paid to wait in line for whoever is unwilling to do so themselves).  

I started thinking about this when my friend Chris was asking where I was Saturday morning in a text message.  He replied to my text "I had a blowout but I'm on my way" with "like a flat tire?"  I was tempted to respond with a sarcastic "no, I was slowed down by a huge blowout sale I saw off the freeway."  It really is true though, I feel like America is obsessed with using commerce to pass their day to day menial problems onto someone else.  There was a day when every boy was instructed in the art of practical knowledge.  Every man was a handy man.  Now: you can look up a "handy man for hire" in the yellow pages.  Why are we becoming so atrophied?... Can everything be bought?  

Apparently manhood can be purchased, or so society would like us all to think.  Hmmm... lets see, just an example... extenze or enzyte.  Of course, for just a small fee you can purchase a pill that gives you manhood you can really measure.  Really?  I've always liked the idea of woman providing the best reflection of a guy's own manhood.  After all, what is a man if there were no women?  But still, commerce must be removed.  Too many men try to develop a masculine identity through the "purchasing" of women in adult magazines.  How about instead of exchanging money for product or services, we exchange respect and self worth.  Manliness is not for sale.  Treat a woman with love and decency and if you get a flat tire... fix it!

Coachella 2009

Coachella was this last weekend.  I wasn't able to cowboy up to buy the three day pass for the full weekend, but Saturday was really amazing in itself.  I was really impressed with the venue.  Coachella, CA, a little desert town just east of palm springs can throw a serious music festival.  I was pleasantly surprised at the lush green grass that covered the entire venue.  I was expecting dead dry grass (like in Austin which wreaked havoc on my sinuses), but my feet were totally content to be with out any sole the entire day.  

The other thing that I was impressed by were the art exhibits.  The layout of the music and art was really great.  I was sort of expecting a grassy vacuum between each stage, but there were all kinds of interesting large scale art pieces that made a cruise around the fields about more than just music.  When the sun went down, most of the pieces had lighting installations that were a sight to see.

photo by Tristan Savatier

Obviously though, Coachella was about the music!  I was fortunate to see Blitzen Trapper, Dr. Dog, Jenny Lewis, Fleet Foxes, Band of Horses, Calexico, and others in passing.  I have to say that Band of Horses easily put on the best show.  All the music was great, but their set really impressed me.  Everyone must see them if you get a chance, as well as listen to their song "The General Specific"!  One of my favorite aspect about seeing this band is getting to see each personality in the band that you would otherwise miss out on.  The bass player of this band was a lot of fun to watch.  I put him up there with the drummer for the Helio Sequence (Benjamin Weikel).  These guys are the backbone of the band, but they play with the enthusiasm of a frontman.  I think its easy for percussion and bass to get lost on stage, hiding in the shadows, providing the necessary rhythm and beats for the vocals and guitars.  These guys though really make their presence felt on the stage and I enjoy the music that much more.  Swaying hips and bent knees, contorted facial expressions, and an energy that feeds off each member of the band-thats what being in a band is all about-being so into the music you're playing that dreamers like me can not just hear it, but see it and feel it.  I dig it. 

Acid Tongue

Coachella is this weekend.  In light of this fact, I've been trying to listen to more artists that I will be seeing there, one of which being Jenny Lewis.  I actually saw her for the first time at my first music festival experience (Austin City Limits) back in September.  I hadn't listened to any of her solo stuff (which conveniently includes Johnathan Rice) before then, but I really enjoyed her set.  Despite this, I didn't actually get her CD Acid Tongue until yesterday (I admit I burned it from a friend... Sorry Jenny).  

I listened to track 5, "Acid Tongue," around 15 times today (granted, I put in a 7 hour shift behind the OSD van today) and its amazing.  I'm still not sick of it.  I remember loving it when I first heard it live in Austin.  Its so simple!  One guitar played by Jenny, with her male band providing vocal harmony.  It was just that in Austin; Jenny Lewis on a stool and her guys surrounding her.  It was legit.  

The song is just flat out beautiful but I think its more appealing because I can imagine the live performance, and it makes me think of that trip.  After the song was finished, Jenny cried.  Not sobs, but just a few streaks down her cheeks, and concluded by raising her heineken to the crowd.  I really appreciate musicians who can pour that much into a song.  I'm done blabbing... just listen-

1-800-Flowers Comes Through!

I was looking at flower packages online today.  I thought it'd be a nice thing to do for my girlfriend who just moved into a new place.  I wonder what she would think of these:

Pretty romantic uh?  What girl wouldn't want her floral arrangement and home decor to look like a mug of beer?  Yes!  Get excited Krista!

"Fwd:!!!"

My first order of business is apologizing for the hypocritical nature of this inaugural post.  

That said, I must tell you that I will never send an email to anyone with the notorious "Fwd:" anywhere in the subject header.  The lucky recipient of such an email is likely to find amusing claims after the "Fwd:" such as "hilarious pictures!!!" or "must see this!!!"  The number of exclamations marks clearly denotes the level of pleasure the previous viewer had right?  Well... not exactly... not in my mind anyway.  Maybe I've been desensitized to spaghetti covered, bib-wearing kittens from over-exposure to AFV videos in my early childhood.  None-the-less, I'm not the biggest fun of these emails and I tend to delete the contents before I even look at them.  

Simply said, "Fwd: funny" is as good as trash in my gmail inbox.

Fortunately, the "Fwd:" email isn't to be outdone by the "Fwd:" text msg.  I delete those as fast as they promise my imminent death if I don't forward  it myself  to 10 of my friends.  

However, I've got to say that while the text message is more annoying than the email, I find it more permissible than the latter.  I can't hold it against my adolescent cousins for including me in there schoolyard shenanigans and giving me the honor of sharing in their newly discovered social and technical liberties.  On the other hand, the email usually comes from a sort of office space delirium that forces adults (usually family) to forward whatever little glimpse of delight that happens to pass by their strained eyes and carpel tunneled hands to everyone they know.

Yes.  I know this is all quite dramatic, but this brings me to the point. 

I am a changed man!  By some fluke I happened to read such an email that my mom sent me.  And by some other fluke, I actually found it to be really hilarious.  I actually laughed out loud (some of you may know this now antiquated expression as LOL) when I read it.  So despite my aversion to linking forwarded messages to even more people, I must share this with you:

Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus

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Men are from Mars, Women from Venus RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR:

You know the book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus? Well, here's a prime example of that. This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and Gary (last name deleted).

English 44A

SMU

Creative Writing

Prof. Miller

In class Assignment for Wednesday:

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached. And now, the Assignment as submitted by

Rebecca & Gary:

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...". But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for physically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?", she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu-udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu-udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

Asshole.

Bitch.